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Home » Archives » October 2005 » It's been a good week...but a tough one. [Previous entry: "Flights"] [Next entry: "Anniversary"] 10/12/2005: "It's been a good week...but a tough one." listening to: TV in the background.
feeling: Good.

The Good: I've had a series of, what I would call, good meetings lately.
It seems that there is a place for me and my work in this market after all. Granted, it's not some of the totally progressive work that I would like to be doing, but it is work, and the clients seem very appreciative of the work I am doing.

Mostly I think these meetings are going well because I am LIGHTENING THE F#CK UP. For a while there (truthfully, my whole life) I have been taking myself WAY too seriously. It's off-putting. Noone wants to work with, hire, or otherwise sit in a meeting with a guy who takes himself too seriously.

The Bad: I am hungry all the damn time because I am trying to get my rampant eating under wraps. It's frustrating. It makes me cranky. It makes me easily frustrated with things that would not otherwise frustrate me. I didn't do my computer programming homework because I got pissed at it. It would not have, ordinarily, gotten me so angry.

The Ugly: Jocelyn and I took "before" pictures of ourselves and I had them developed this week. Good God, I am a gigantic fatass. I've lost 20 lbs since this summer, and I am still a disgusting fat bucket of guts. It's depressing, and frustrating, and it makes me cranky.

And, of course, you know what I want to do when I am depressed, frustrated, and cranky. (If you don't know me all that well, I'll give you a tip. I WANT TO EAT AN ENTIRE BOX OF TACOS WITH 64ozs of MOUNTAIN DEW AND A CHURRO. Because I EAT WHEN I AM DEPRESSED ABOUT HOW FAT I AM.)

Boy, this entry took a serious downturn, didn't it? Well, that's what you get when I get tired on top of frustrated, cranky, depressed, and hungry.

Replies: 3 Comments

On Thursday, October 13th, Nicole said

I completely understand the weight thing. Even though I have been taking pictures of my body once a week, and I am definately getting toner, even if I'm not losing weight. I still feel like I'm huge. My clothes aren't getting loser anymore, because that's not where I'm losing weight but in the end I'm sure we will both suceed.

And atleast you don't have to walk by 6 or more bakeries on your way to class! It sucks, but I'm just trying not to gain, when I get back I'll try to lose more.

On Thursday, October 13th, Bernie said

You need to both be proud of how much you have lost this summer.
I know it is easy to get tired of popcorn, but you can eat a lot of it when you know you are eating just to eat. During the summer, Nicole and I drove your dad crazy because we would get up from dinner and eat an entire bag of popcorn. We weren't hungary, we just needed to chew eat. Bowls of cereal are almost as good. Allow yourself an occasional small treat. Go for a walk when you are frustrated or ride your trainer. Love you both.

On Friday, October 14th, Jocelyn said

The changes that are happening in our house are HUGE. We've found low fat cheese we like that doesnt taste or melt like plastic. We've found fat free salad dressing that is tasty. We've found low fat substitutes for sour cream and pepperoni. After Jon got some of his frustrations out on the blog he had an impressive weight loss for the week, which gives us both the encouragement to keep it up. Im on a "it hurts to eat diet" because of a root canal and that has prooved to be a success...although i know it's short lived. smile We've been having a good time riding bikes and getting outside now that it's cooled off.