Masthead (39k image)
Home » Archives » June 2005 » Where's Batman when you fuckin' need him? [Previous entry: "promoting myself...and someone else..."] [Next entry: "Nicole"] 06/13/2005: "Where's Batman when you fuckin' need him?" listening to: Old Don & Mike
feeling: Fuckin' crap...

mower (29k image) Okay, so here's the big news of the day:

Someone stole my God damn lawnmower.
They stole the God damn lawnmower out of my God damn garage, which I left open because I was home, and the garage was starting to stink because it gets fucking hot in there with the cars and the door shut all the time, and the garbage can in there too.

Well, here's the great part about it, I hope you enjoy the mower you fucker, because right before I put it away I ran over a fresh dog turd because my dog, Mabel, took a big fat crap right in the one 4x10 swath of unmowed grass as I was finishing, and I had to mow over it.

And if you are the operator of the pawn shop that they probably sold it to, well, this is what you get for dealing in stolen goods, my friend. Your place is going to smell like shit, or you are going to have to clean that shit off. So, have fun. Fuckers.

Replies: 1 Comment


On Monday, June 13th, Jocelyn said

Now, I make this comment with all the love and care for our dog in the world. But Really, Mabel, all the times you take post and keep us safe from squirrels and birds. The one time someone comes on our property you were sleeping on the job!